Attitude of Gratitude
My Gratitude Hello friends what are you grateful for ? According to my Dragon sign Monday is my lucky day of the week and I have to agree . I’ve always enjoyed Monday’s and am grateful for a fresh start and new week. Ive talked about the importance of having boundaries while simultaneously sharing aspects of my personal life. Over the years my life has undergone many changes but one thing has always been consistent .. my fans. Without you guys and gals where would I be ? I realize that many of you only want to be entertained by my vast catalog of content and sex persona but a lot of you are genuinely curious about me Tera Patrick . Who I am outside of my work so here are some answers to your questions and curiosities… Your burning questions … How did you transition out of the Adult Industry? How do you live a normal life and work a normal job? How is life after porn? This question gets posed to me a lot and it must be strange or impossible to think that adult actors could live a normal life because sex work bears a huge stigma. Those of us who achieve fame or success in this line of work tend to be stigmatized . For me this hasn’t been the case. I’m happily married , raising my daughter , and work a normal job. I enrolled at my local university and language school. My family ,close friends, and colleges could care less about my past career it’s never come up. Yes I get recognized , everyday ,everywhere and I’ve had situations where fans will even ask me to take a photo with them in public . It’s going to be a part of my life forever and I have a lot of gratitude for it. Now My Perspective … Perspective is everything and mine has shifted over the years. I’ve had my shares of up’s and downs but I’ve always had support. My family has never shamed or shunned me for being in the industry. In my experience it’s about who you choose to let into your inner circle and personal space. This will have a huge impact on your mental health , your choices and the consequences of your choices. It comes down to choices… We have to choose wisely because our choices pave the way and set the pace of our life. Who do we choose to spend our time with? Are they elevating you ? Supportive of you ? Do you share a common goal or the same values? This is important. So often I see people just along for the ride and enjoying the financial benefits of your work but doing little else. My partner has his own career and when I first considered going back to school he was very supportive and excited for me. It’s been scary at times . Not only having to do some of it in Italian , but I didn’t choose an easy subject AND with the possibility of never returning to the USA I’d have to find some way to use my degree here in Italy then secure a job. I mean ok that should be so easy right ? Stay tuned … Regardless ,I’ve learned the importance of being grateful though the last decade of my life and this IS the point or what I’m trying to convey through my post . When I start to feel stressed or sad I try to keep in perspective what I have ,who is with me and why I’m here . I don’t always have the answers I’m looking for and I can get caught up in some circular thinking. Here are a few things that keep me calm and centered when I feel lost or down some days . Things that help me when I’m feeling down Meditation : It doesn’t have to be long sessions. Sometimes just 15 minutes of sitting cross legged in silence or on my back with my elbows behind my head breathing deep is the reset I need . What am I thinking about ? It varies really but it’s usually something that makes me happy like an animal or somewhere I’ve traveled or hope to travel . Think of something that brings you easy simple happiness and just let your mind relax and go … Some form of exercise. Doesn’t have to be heart pounding cardio (unless you want that!) but I find some stretching , yoga poses or a walk around my neighborhood is a good fresh reset . Music. Make a playlist or put on your favorite Itunes or spotify station and just tune everyone and everything out for a few. Music tends to motivate and recharge me . It always puts me in a good place ! I have what I need. The basics , my health ,my home ,food ,clean water , and these things especially now should never be taken for granted. My family is with me, I have friends I can depend on. I’ve also built up an INCREDIBLE fan base who’ve gone though life’s changes with me and stuck by me! The why is not always so clear. We don’t know what our purpose is or how we can find a deeper purpose in what we’re already doing . What we can do is just be patient and kind to ourselves and enjoy each day , every minute with gratitude. XO Tera
Lockdown Labor Day 2020
Happy Labor Day weekend! It’s a three day weekend what will you do with that extra day off ? This is typically a time for BBQ’s and get togethers but with lockdown and social distancing I’m assuming for my friends and family in the USA this isn’t going to be possible. During this lockdown period I’ve taken the opportunity to reach out to many friends. I know we get busy with our daily grind so I don’t expect to hear from certain friends every few months. I talked to my sister every Sunday no matter what. Every Sunday we just spend a few hours in between loads of laundry, cooking, and random mom – wife sh$$, leaving each other long voice notes on What’s App. My best friend Charmane and I talk everyday. I have my husband, Mom, Dad, and and a few girlfriends I’m able to just rant to when I need it. Everyone wants to throw 2020 in the trash but hold up a second.. As crappy as this year has been it is important to keep a few things in perspective. The first is prioritizing my health. This isn’t the time to gain heaps of weight, and become indolent. Everyday is an opportunity to better yourself. This has become a time of uncertainty for many, but sitting around stressing about everything right now is counterproductive. It’s also detrimental to your health both spiritual and physical…. Something I started doing was meditating… I tend to be an empath and when friends ask me for advice I sometimes find myself a bit drained. That doesn’t mean I don’t like to listen or be there I do. I love to listen, discuss and give advice. I found that meditation gives me a lot of clarity. It has helped me become less reactive especially in discussions and my business. Before bed I like to do my second session of yoga. I do thirty minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night. Yoga and just some basic stretching helps me let go of tension. I hold so much tension in my neck, shoulders, traps, and scapula. I keep a tennis balls handy ( see pic )and posture curve http://posturecurve.comI’ll even use every door frame in the house on my shoulder blades and lower back to press tension out of me! Resistance bands are a great addition to help with stretching and flexibility with the added bonus of being lightweight and easy to take when traveling. On the contrary this year has been liberating for some. When we go through hard times it tends to make us reflective. This year of lockdown has brought out many underlying issues that we as a society are forcing ourselves and countless others to acknowledge. Even if you don’t actively watch the news or side with one political party and follow politics, you can’t turn a blind eye to what’s circulating on social media. Some of us are seeing who our real friends and family are. We find ourselves wondering ” were they always this way”? How did I not see this? Share your opinion on ANYTHING that has to do with Vaccines, Corona Virus and you’re labeled a conspiracy theorist . No one is allowed to have different ideas or views. The shouting begins! You’re stupid’ you’re a porn star what do you know! I’ve been told by countless fans I should be more active on social media ESPECIALLY when it comes to politics but to be honest I don’t want to. I can have calm, insightful, discussions with family and friends and that’s what I choose. As an entertainer I prefer to show the positive aspects of my life. This doesn’t mean my life is without problems or that I don’t go through things. I don’t feel the need to share them online . My family issues or problems are for my family and I to resolve. Taking to social media for therapy isn’t healthy. So much of this oversharing exists online today and it’s hard to decipher who or what is really serious. Is it just “let’s fake some struggles for clout…”? That’s what entertainment has become and I am not feeding into that.Sharing my problems for attention and sympathy has never been or will never be me. So in closing and in reference to my blog title… I wanted to share a story I read on another blog called http://www.feastingathome.com/chipotle-mayo/ I was cooking shrimp tacos and somehow ran across this lovely blog. There’s a few cooking blogs I like to reference, usually Gordon Ramsey but hers came up instead and I’m so happy it did! Her name is Sylvia Fountaine http://www.feastingathome.comI saw this post for chipotle mayo and though Ooooh! Here’s some other sauce/ salsa I can make since I’ve been on this nonstop binge of salsa and hot sauces!! What I read was a beautiful story about her mother. I shared it with two of my friends who are both at a crossroads in their lives right now too. One is contemplating divorce and another a new career path… If we’ve learned anything from what’s happening around the world right now it’s that change IS constant and it’s always happening. Maybe it’s because as we go on our day to day life routine we don’t see new laws being passed, we take what’s on the news and don’t question it or at this point we just don’t know who or what to believe anymore. Some of us haven’t had our jobs taken away so we haven’t been affected as much. That doesn’t mean we should shut our own eyes and feelings off to those around us who are. This IS a time to seriously evaluate our own place in life. To stay healthy, to have hope that things are going to be ok. Everyone is processing what’s going on in their own way so if you don’t hear from someone try not to take it personal or better yet reach out
